I get married in 37 days. I move into my first apartment in 16 days. I am still a student, and Heidi and I planned our budget, and I only need to have enough money to basically cover rent and groceries. It's not much, only between an grand and $1200 bring home a month, but I'm in a tough financial situation.
I quit a great job at AT&T because I had a "dream" job with a guy from my church. I thought it was going to be everything I wanted, so I ignored some misgivings in my gut. I wanted to make the switch so desperately, that I completely avoided talking to my pastor about making the change. The job situation with the guy from church didn't work out, so now I'm recently engaged and unemployed. I got a job at my favorite restaurant, where I am friends with the manager, and he tells me that he wants me to be a sort of supervisor for the hosts/hostesses, running and managing the guest list and making sure the guests are sat as quickly as possible. He assures me that, in this position, I won't have any problem making the money I need to make, but so far, I've not made much more than about $50.00/week. I asked him several times if I could start training as a server, where I'm sure to make more money, but he keeps telling me that I have to "earn" it, and that I have to wait my turn. Meanwhile, he has hired 7 new servers.
I don't blame my boss, though I am a bit frustrated with him. But I really blame myself. I screwed up; I had misgivings about the job with the guy from church, but I didn't follow my gut (which, honestly, is never wrong. Seriously, it's scary how accurate it is). I was so desperate to do what I wanted to do, that I totally ignored the check of the Holy Spirit in telling me what is the right thing to do. I'm so totally overwhelmed by my current situation, and I really need a miracle to make something happen.
Sunday night at church, Pastor preached a sermon titled "Yet." His main text was Job 13:15 - "Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him. Even so, I will defend my own ways before Him." He preached that we give God the 'though's - all the problems we have, all the situations that haven't been worked out, all the reasons why we can't and our lives are total disasters, and then we should always say, "Yet." Yet, God can make a way. Yet, God can provide a need. Yet, God can restore a destroyed life.
"Though problem, yet God."
I have the 'though.' I believe God can and will provide my 'yet,' but I'm really starting to get scared. I can't even get a bad job - I'm just getting no job. And I need God to give me my 'yet.'