I found a couple of great websites for preaching: www.faithbuilder.us and www.goodpreaching.com. Both have Apostolic preaching for free. Also, I have RealPlayer on my computer, and the new version has a plug-in that enables me to download the sermon that I'm listening to, so I can add it to my iTunes directory and put it on my iPod to listen to when I am driving. faithbuilder.us has preaching by Jeff Arnold, and it's the only place online that I've found free Jeff Arnold sermons.
I still haven't found permanent work, but I do have a good temporary solution - substitute teaching. Classes start August 11, so it won't interfere with the honeymoon and stuff. I can make a minimum of $65.00 per day, up to almost $100.00 per day. It would solve a lot of problems, offer the flexibility I need, and not interfere with evenings or weekends, so I could study, spend time with Heidi, and learn how to be married and whatnot. I'm not trying to force anything on God, and I want to make sure it's right for me and for what He has for me ... but this would be a great opportunity.
I get married in 22 days. I move into my own apartment, living on my own for the first time ever in my entire life, tomorrow. My room is a mess right now, as I get ready to go ... and it scares me a little bit. It all seems a little surreal, but I told a friend of mine who is in a relationship that is moving towards serious that when you meet someone who makes you better, don't let her go. When you reach a point that you can't remember life without her, that's when you know that it's right. That's how I feel. Heidi makes me better in every way - spiritually, academically, physically, emotionally ... she makes me want to be better. And while we haven't even been dating long, I don't remember my life without her, and I can't imagine my future without her by my side.
I preached at the jail two weeks in a row, and I was talking to a preacher friend about one of my sermons, and he said something profound - "Don't study the Bible looking for a sermon. When you preach, it should be a reflection of your relationship with God." It made me think of a quote by Seneca: "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." To apply it to this circumstance, "Ministry is what happens when the relationship meets the need." How can we pour out God's spirit and love on someone else if we haven't been spending time in God's spirit, filling up on God's spirit, and learning how to love like God?
It challenged me to learn to love God, to draw close to God, and to build my relationship with God, so that my ministering isn't studying the Bible for something cute or witty or academically fun; rather, I want my ministering to be a reflection of my relationship with Him.