Obama '08

Dear Friend,

I've been thinking a lot about the election and how important it is to our family.

I've decided to support Barack Obama, and wanted to let you know why.

There are many rumors floating around out there, so here's some information about Barack's positions on things I know are important to you:

  1. Economy - Let's face it. We're facing major economic crisis. The entire world economy is melting and collapsing around us. America needs - and deserves - a leader who will sell us out to the highest bidder and tell us that it's for the good of the country. FDR did it for us to bring us out of the Great Depression, and look how well that worked out! We've all bought into Social Security, but there's no money there. Americans finally have a real sense of entitlement and a total lack of work ethic, which has caused us to be hated and despised by most of the entire world. We're selfish, lazy, and increasingly stupid and litigious. Isn't it time for another great leader in the mold of FDR?

  2. Health Care - If you're like most Americans, you don't trust the United States Government to do anything right. When it comes to sending a really important package, you'd never use the United States Postal Service. You'd go to the professionals, the people who have faced competition and a vicious free market economy to come out on top. For your education, those of you who really care don't trust the government to educate your children; you home school them or send them to private schools, where teachers are paid a decent wage and students have an incentive to excel and grow and explore their education. So, naturally, doesn't it make sense to turn your health care over to the federal government, as well?
  3. Endtimes - Let's face it; Tim LaHaye and Irvin Baxter have been drooling these past few weeks as the entire economic system has collapsed and the world governments are coming together to unite and develop a plan and a whole new system to restore order to the world economies. With such clear prophetic statements being set up in our world, why wouldn't we want to usher in the soon-coming of Jesus Christ? John McCain won't take us into a global economy or a unified world government - he still believes in the sovereignty of the United States of America! We don't need that kind of backwards thinking in Washington. A vote for Barack Obama will help usher in a new era of prosperity (unless you're in that top 5% that's going to get taxed out of your eyeballs), unity (raise your hand if you speak Chinese), and health care for all (now serving number 663 ... number 663 ...).
  4. From Each According to His Ability; To Each According to His Need- Those silly rich people. They're making all that money that they don't really need! But no fear; once Obama is elected, our Dear Leader will make sure that those poor, unfortunate rich people have all that extra cash taken off their hands, and it will be equally distributed among the poor bourgeoisie. It's about time the rich people started contributing their fair share to the rest of the population! Those jobs they provide for everyone, the innovation and growth to the American economy, and the 40% of their income that they already pay in taxes just aren't enough!

This is probably going to be the most important election in my lifetime, and it's something I strongly believe in. So let's talk about it. Ask me anything.