Look, I would come over there to talk to you, but you're not a good person. You're a bearer of bad news. You're a doorstep darkener. You darken doorsteps. Didn't your mother ever tell you, if you can't say anything nice, then lie to make me feel better? I'm pretty sure that's not what she said, but I'd appreciate it if you'd at least try that once.
Quit staring at me! I'm not coming over there. I don't care what you say. I know, it's been a week. But, I don't even want to be here tonight. I don't feel good. I want to go home. But I'm here anyway, because it's the right thing to do. The last thing I'm going to do is to let you add on to my weariness. I don't want to hear it. You're nothing but trouble.
Fine. Okay. I'm coming over. Please be gentle.
Wait. What? What's that? There's good news? You're saying ... really? That can't be.
Maybe you're not such a bad guy after all.
* * *
For information on healthy diet tips, visit my wife's nutrition blog - http://nutritious-bytes.blogspot.com/.