Rule 1 - Don't fuss with your beard. Let it be.
I don't have much of an epic beard; currently it's just about an inch long and full across my face. But during periods of epic-beardedness, I have had total strangers approach me at restaurants or bars and start petting it. Usual questions are "Is it hard to maintain" or "How do you grow a beard that long?" The answers are simple - no, and with patience. Here's a great how-to guide to grow your own epic man beard.